I love when you are quiet. When you are quietly planning what use you will make of me. I love it and fear it at the same time. My tummy always feels slightly queasy and usually i try not to eat before seeing you in anticipation of this feeling.

But when you come through the door this time and are quiet the fear rises up inside of me because this time, i am to be punished. Whatever i did doesn’t matter, it was the sudden intrusion of my will in an otherwise submissive week where my will is not indulged without Your permission.

You rummage through the suitcase and find my collar. You buckle it snugly to my neck. Then the wrist cuffs go on, my top comes off and wrists get linked to the D-ring on the back of my collar You take off my skirt and slip down my panties and i step out of them both. You bend me over the desk chair and tell me to stay. I rest my upper chest on the back of the chair and wait for you. I don’t like seeing what you are getting so i close my eyes and wait nervously. Soon i can feel you beside me, you speak quietly.

“You can do a lot of things. What you cannot ever do is forget your place.”

I shudder inside and my stomach does a flip as i feel a sharp crack of the wood paddle on my right ass cheek. It stings mightily and i suck in a breath of air quickly before the next blow arrives just as sharply on my left ass cheek. I yelp out loud and shift my weight from right foot to left trying to ease some of the sting. Again and again you pummel my ass with the paddle, the blows coming harder and in rhythm now: right, left, right, left, right, left. I squirm madly and cry out as the fire lights into my ass, but the paddle keeps cracking down in the same two spots on each of my reddened and swollen cheeks as my feet dance and occasionally fly up backwards, my hips moving to and fro trying to divert the pain away from those same two abused parts of my ass.

Then, as suddenly as you started, you stop. I catch my breath and don’t look up. I feel your hand touching my left cheek, heat emanating towards your hand like a kiss. You carress my tender inflamed cheek but for a moment before taking up the paddle again with renewed vigor. Right and left, back and forth, and down to my thighs you swing, aiming well and landing the paddle hard, i’m trying my best to keep in position but the pain makes me want to move away or at least block my sore bits with my hand, if it weren’t fastened securely by the wrist to the back of my collar. So i sway my hips instead, making a moving target you have no trouble nailing again and again. Yelping and crying, i moan out my pain, thinking this is really smarting and wondering how long you will persist. I am terribly sorry for asserting myself and feeling a bit pathetic. Not long after i feel i have reached some sort of limit and my cheeks and thighs are on fire, you stop. I am sweating and panting, my hair hanging down in stringy clumps.

I feel your hand clench into my wet hair and i am righted and pulled to the bed where with a shove i am lying on my back with my knees bent, feet dangling down almost touching the floor. You are at the suitcase again and i turn my head away, with a knowing dread curling up in my stomach. You return in front of me pushing my legs apart and your fingers are in my cunt. You remark that i am drenched for you. I flush hotly and emit an embarrassed moan as you finger me. Groaning my need louder you rub my sweet spot briefly, then finger my lips, trying to get a good grip before the clamp snaps on, a loud owwww coming from me. You finger the other lip and fasten the clamp and as it bites into my most tender pussy lip i begin to cry in my pain, frustration and contrition. It hurts to move. It more than hurts. The pain encompasses my being and all i am is my clamped pussy lips. I am in agony trying to get on top of the pain when you tell me to move back further up on the bed. Somehow i do. You are holding the crop.

I am vaguely aware of you telling me to “open”. My trembling legs part slightly, but knowing what is coming i freeze in mid-part. You patiently urge my knees to spread wider for my Owner. I manage to keep them open long enough for the crop to whack my pubis just above the clamps, taking my breath away as i howl, close my legs and roll away from you. My tears are hot and sting my cheeks as i sob brokenly, unable to adjust to the painful clamps as they bite into my tender flesh, aggravated with the slightest movement. You are poised over me, crop raised and waiting for me to reposition myself. When i do, the crop whistles down onto my left tit right on the nipple. I pull my elbows together and cry harder. You are so patient. You don’t disparage me, instead you just urge me to reopen myself for you. I do and you crop the right tit. I am squirming and sweating and struggling to submit to this awful pain. I am breathing hard and wish i could find subspace, but it is elusive and i am vastly feeling everything. A kiss is placed on my forehead as tears trail down my clammy cheeks and into my ears.

You have me roll over onto my knees, head down ass up. Your favorite position. You again take up the crop and begin laying it on thick to each thigh. I am wobbling as i try to stay balanced on my knees, hands still locked up behind my neck, clamps biting in hard. You begin striking my bare back with the crop and eventually i float away. I’m aware of my tears flowing and the sting of the crop, the clamps finding a painful truce with my pussy lips. The crop hits my back, my ass, my thighs. All i have to do is be still and receive my chastening but i struggle. I struggle inside of myself with my will. I want to rise up and skip town. I want to take that crop out of your hand and toss it away with all the clamps in the world. Or at least in the suitcase. I want to say “i’m done!” and be done. But i know my willfulness earned me this beating. I sob brokenly with this realization and the crop falls again and again and again. The pain envelops me seemingly from a distance. I am completely surrendered to it; to You. My skin is hot, sweaty, glowing, and stinging when you stop. You put down the crop. I feel your hands between my legs and i cringe in anticipation. You remove the clamps and as the blood flows back into my pinched pussy lips i cry and choke out a loud sob that becomes a torrent of tears and release.

Eased into the bed close beside me, your hand gently pulls me over onto my side and nestled into your chest where i freely cry out all my pain, frustration, helplessness, and brokenness. Your tender hands are petting me and softly you tell me that it is all over. My debt has been paid. Things are again right between Master and slave. I coorie in close to your body; as close as i can get and welcome the gentle comforting touch of your hand. The hand that brought such a wellspring of emotion and tears moments before. Master’s hand. Such a powerful symbol. My head slowly turns seeking, then finding and kisses your hand. Your lips meet mine and powerfully take a kiss from me. A shudder seizes my aching cunt and i feel a trickle down my thighs.

Breathing quick and light i slip into a floaty existance where only You and i exist in timelessness.

This is my heartwish.