Today was a really good day. I spent the morning with Master. I told him today felt like a turning point for me.

What I mean by that is, today just flowed very naturally with him. And I love it when that happens. Today, I was completely attuned to both Master as well as myself. I was not fighting anything at all.

It seems like too many times, a part of me wants to protest what is happening. I don’t mean protest what is physically happening, although that surely happens from time to time. But internally, the voices I often hear that scream about too much pain and that frustrating sense of the loss of control, well today, they were silent.

Today I let go of myself.

Today, there was no fight in me

Today I was a slut in heat; Raw, powerful, edgy, horny cunt heat.

Today was beautiful.

Today, I was taken and consumed.

And today, I surrendered.

I love it when Master’s ownership takes me to that place reserved just for him. That place that is utterly and totally His. It’s hot! It feels so rejuvenating.

I think I’ve finally reached a place where I am totally surrendered to my slavery. I realize I say this very tongue-in-cheek. I know, know how changeable I can be. But still, in spite of Master’s little eye roll at my announcement, I want to put it out here for myself at least.

I know that there is peace for me in this journey. I know it because I experienced it today. Today, I would have taken anything and everything; gone anywhere and everywhere for Him; and for me.

Today he did not have to break me. For today, I was already broken at the start. That’s how fully surrendered I felt. As I said, there was this flow. It was heaven.

I wish I could bottle that sensation.

I believe it is meaningful. And I believe it was no accident.

My Master’s ownership, eighteen months thus far, has been chewing, clawing, and ripping its way deeply into my core, and in doing so has unveiled me. The changes are so evident when we’re together; that is, when I keep my flimsy walls down.

They were silly, insignificant walls anyway, for what can I really hide from the One who owns me? Very little it seems. He knows me better than I know myself. Or, more accurately, he brings to light what I know about myself but try to hide from myself.

Beyond that, I know who I am to him. And that knowledge alone makes things infinitely easier. I’m the property. He orders and I obey. If he says it is, it is. It doesn’t matter what I think. I won’t disagree. I won’t refuse. I am enslaved.

And my Master is safe.

But he is I tell you! He is safe. He has his head squarely on his shoulders. He can take me places, very dark places even, and I will go, unafraid. I trust him. (And to clarify that, just in case you’ve been reading about trust in M/s relationships, I mean that no matter the outcome, I am not running away; Maimed, broken, badly bruised, but not dead, I will not leave.)

Oh, that all of my todays would be like this one.

I think that is possible. I see them occurring more often as time goes by.

I am learning my role well. Master is a good teacher. Anything useful to be gained from this blog comes directly or indirectly from him. He has made me. Remade me, for himself. He doesn’t share, but he exposes me to the world and then takes all the credit. He can do that. He’s the owner. I love that.

I am happy; happier than I’ve been in decades. Yes I still struggle. Anyone who reads me surely knows that. But each struggle bears the fruit of his ownership and gives me pride in being his. So proud. So happy. So fulfilled.

I wish all of you a wonderful today.