Wow, it’s really weird how past relationship experience bleeds into present ones.  Not so good when the present one involves a Master.  Because they don’t like being told,

“No, I’m not doing that.”

“I am not taking your money.”

“I am not depending on you.”

“Yes, I’m scared, but no, I cannot lean on you for support.  That would make me appear needy.”

“I am selling my house and doing x, y, and z, because that’s what I need to do.”

Meanwhile….  Master is saying…

“Yes you can lean on me.”

“Yes, you will do what I say.”

“You will take my help, even if it is monetary.”

“I take care of what I own, and I take care of you first.”

Wow.  Just,  Wow.

We met for drinks.  I was tense.  No.  I was wound up more tightly than Master has ever seen me.

The tears kept threatening, lying just under the surface.

Master kept …. saying things that made me want to cry.  When he took my hand and gently teased my palm with his fingers I said,

“Don’t go doing that.”

He said I was crossing the line by saying that.  He kept tickling my palm, held in both of his hands.  Then sure enough,

I cried.

Right in front of the pretty, young bartender.

The bartender Master made me tell TWICE that I’m an owned slave; because apparently, (Master was right) she hadn’t heard me the first time.  And I’d told him several times, “I’m not telling her.  I can’t.”

“You’ll do whatever I tell you.”

Well.

I am getting divorced.

Hub moves out in less than two days.

I am Master’s owned property, and he loves me.

Thank god.

I think I will be okay, if I don’t go crazy.

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