Today I want to be his 24/7.  Today I wish all the walls and boundaries were long gone between us; ie, his spouse, our kids, all of it.  I wish I could live under his roof and tend to his needs and be his one.  Forever.

Why the sudden change?  Oh, I don’t think it is all that sudden.  I think it is and has been my deepest desire for a long, long time.  And maybe I fear that voicing it will somehow be bad luck and bring the opposite thing to pass:  that I will never realize this desire.

Master plays games with me.  He tells me he doesn’t know what the future holds and that he doesn’t have a plan regarding us.  And I can see why he might say such a thing.  No one really knows what the future will bring.  But more importantly, he doesn’t want a future promise to change anything.  In other words, he wants me following and obeying regardless of our potential future together.  Whether he stays married or not, it is not for me to choose whether I will continue serving him.  I’m locked into servitude even if I remain “the other woman” for the rest of my life.

But seriously?  I doubt very much things will play out that way.  I think Master would be miserable staying married.  Why would he want that for himself?  Moreover, I believe he has a long-range plan that has been playing out in my life thus far.  Why else did he require the financial disciplines of me these past two years if not to prepare for this day?  I’ve mentioned I never would have had the funds to help the ex on his way if not for Master’s savings plan he put in place from the earliest days.

Everything he has required of me seems to have immense foresight.  I’m just sayin’.  I am grateful.  As I said in my last post, I never would have come this far without Master’s planning on my behalf.  Without his strength.  Without his guidance.  Without his support.  This is like realizing the plot of a movie three-quarters of the way into it; when you finally realize what is going on.  I am realizing things about Master.  Very good things.

But yeah, I want to live with him one day.  Yes, I think I can be exactly what he envisions in a slave.  I think I have the capacity to make his life much, much better.  He has already done so for me.  And while I am hesitant, I feel we would be well-matched as 24/7 owner and slave.  Wherever I am lacking, he will assess and revise me.  He’s particularly skilled at such things.

I dunno.  Right now, a lot has to happen first.  Hell, right now, a lot has happened.  It’s cool.  I like that he is right there.  That he won’t let me go anywhere.  That he reinforces who I am.  And who he is.  He’s a pretty good guy.  A very cool dad.   And an awesome Master.

Today, I am ready for whatever direction Master takes us.  I am ready, and optimistic, and content.  This journey kicks ass. 

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