G.U.I.L.T.
Posted by: doubleknot on: October 26, 2009
Just off the phone with the mother-in-law. Can you spell G-U-I-L-T? Oh. My. God.
The trouble is, her son never let on when we were having problems, opting instead to always paint a rosy picture of health, wealth, and marital bliss. It’s no wonder the news of her beloved son and d-i-l splitting was just too much for her to handle.
The f-i-l I expect is angry. He has two moods: Irish happy and Irish angry. (and you don’t even want to see him drunk and Irish angry.) I suspect I won’t be talking to him any time soon. Which is fine with me, because the last time he was at my house he was both Irish drunk and Irish rampaging. Oy. What an ass.
Alright so… It only took me three months to finally talk to them; well,, to her. She doesn’t like it; can’t understand it; didn’t see it coming; is glad we didn’t file yet. I don’t even think the soon-to-be ex saw it coming; go figure. He can throw lawn furniture around, but doesn’t see how that might lead to big problems.
Well… I am not feeling so hot today. Got a period, cramps, the whole nine yards. I haven’t had one of those in at least two months. I couldn’t sleep so was up at 6 this morning. I have a couple days off work and my new class starts tomorrow. There should be homework posted by tonight. In fact, I already got a jump on some of it, cuz some of it’s posted already.
Master and I are getting together again soon. Yesterday he sent a message that he was feeling very “ownerish”. I wonder what that means for me? Although, he said he feels ownerish a lot, so…
It doesn’t much matter because things will happen the way he wants no matter what I think or worry about.
This weekend I was feeling just a wee bit lonely in general. Kind of isolated I guess. I haven’t had much time for going out and having fun lately.
That’s about it for now. It’s raining. On my day off. AGAIN. The weather obviously doesn’t know it’s my day off.
4 Responses to "G.U.I.L.T."
October 26, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Most people really only see others as players in their own lifes movie so you making a change to their script is no doubt unwelcomed.
But the awesome thing is YOU have your own script that suits you and personally it sounds a lot healthier and fulfilling for you than the one they wanted you playing out. So just blow it off and don’t give their desire for you to have guilt any validity.
I know that lonely feeling. I’m still in the learning how to handle that phase being newly a slave to a man with family. Weekends suck. I find myself doing a dance inbetween being the all absorbed clingy slave and the detached independent woman. Touch mix. And Him giving me ongoing tasks to continually bring my headspace back to him doesn’t help. Do you ever get used to it?
Good job on getting the jump on the next class. I cannot even imagine stepping back into school, just the thought makes me squeep. ~shudders~
October 26, 2009 at 5:30 pm
I have a strange relationship with my mother-in-law…never quite sure where I stand at any given moment. Sometimes she loves me more than her own son, other times, I think she could kill me and not bat an eyelash. When I call her every Sunday afternoon, I never know what to expect. Thankfully we live 6 large states away from her. Sorry you are having to deal with all of that crap. It’s life I guess.
As for your Master feeling “ownerish”…that sounds like a good thing…at least I hope so.
As ALWAYS, wishing you the best and happiest. Sounds like you could use it right about now.
http://thepinkpoppet.wordpress.com/
October 26, 2009 at 8:26 pm
thanks nilla!
Renee`, Thanks too. And, No. You don’t.
pink, I only wish we lived six states away. we all live in the same town. Thanks for the well wishes!
October 26, 2009 at 3:30 pm
How sucky about the rainy days off. Been like that here, too. I only have about 2 or 3 billion leaves to get raked up. Before Halloween. When I work all day. Sigh. S’posed to rain here Tues. p.m. and all Day Wednesday. Ugh.
Today, when we were tied up doing our kitchen ceiling renov. and it was a lovely day. Gorgeous day. Cool, but sunny. The kind of day you want to be outside raking leaves, and not inside deconstructing your kitchen ceiling and installing a new one …at least it all got done in one day, yahooooooo! (when you get a sec, I’d love to have you visit my blog …today there are pics of me and the “destruction phase” of our job, tomorrow or Wednesay, will post completion pics!)
Sorry about your inlaws. I’m thinking that it will always be the dau in laws “fault,” because most parents can’t see their kids as part of the problem. Hope you can shrug it off, because it seems that the changes for you have been positive ones.
Hugs,
Nilla