Posted by: doubleknot on: July 15, 2008
By putting aside the very obvious notion that there is something psychologically wrong with a masochist, then I suppose I can begin to embrace the fact that I am one.
My roots in masochism go pretty far back to very early childhood. I blame my mother.
I’m not sure if this is how it all [...]
Posted by: doubleknot on: February 16, 2008
In trying to understand the side of myself that craves being used, i wrote this email to Master Saturday morning, the day after our session. (read about it here)
Dear Master,
While i do not fully understand nor comprehend the nature of my complete and total submission to you, i know it meets a need.
I hope [...]
Posted by: doubleknot on: February 15, 2008
(edited to add: i am very up-and-down this week. going from worrying, to feeling secure in Master’s good care, back to worrying again..)
I saw Master today. Today was a very different experience for me though Master did not do anything that was really very different from any other time we get together. Well, [...]
Posted by: doubleknot on: November 21, 2007
Okay, i have spent my fair share of time in chat rooms, specifically bdsm chat rooms. One day a discussion caught my attention. Some guy was talking about branding his girl. He said she orgasmed for something like an hour when he did it. The other girls in the chat room were [...]
Posted by: doubleknot on: November 18, 2007
Okay, the word is out: i am a pain slut. Who knew?
Master knew. I suppose i knew too. I just ………………..
It was a secret. From Master. Kind of. (More from myself. Master knew.)
Because, if Master thought i was into pain, then he might give me way more pain [...]
Posted by: doubleknot on: November 11, 2007
…..only evil intentions!
Or so i told Master during a little chat today.
We’re meeting tomorrow to put that notion to the test. Me with my little bag of neutral implements, He with his evil intentions, lol.
I’ll be honest. I’m nervous. Master finds this appealing. “If you are more [...]
Posted by: doubleknot on: November 5, 2007
Master and i were chatting Sunday night. Well, to be more precise, he was doing most of the chatting, and i was giving him a little show on webcam. My husband was right there in the room too, so it was a discreet little show, with me rubbing, twisting, and pulling on my [...]
Posted by: doubleknot on: October 30, 2007
I want to see my Master. More specifically, i want to be in his presence, looking into his endless eyes, feeling his strength; feeling my helplessness; feeling his power; feeling my powerlessness; feeling his pain; feeling his pleasure.
Something i have noticed is that when Master is inflicting heavy pain on me, i [...]
